Val and Page 62: Spiritual Sobriety & Personal Transformation through prayer, meditation, and connection
Paying attention to these things is opening the door to deeper connection and satisfaction in my own body - physical, mental, and emotional- and relationships, day by day.
It’s like getting down to the nitty-gritty of all the thinking and behavior that causes trouble and gets in the way of living, happy joyous, and free.
Use this information as you will to connect the dots in your own story.
I invite you to share your thoughts and experiences either here or in a private message and to share this post if you feel moved to.
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“Val and page 62”
LOVE, ACCEPTANCE, AND SECURITY - THE 3-LEGGED TABLE OF THE NEEDS OF THE FAMILY
Our basic “instincts” are reproduction (sex & love), security (shelter & stability), & social acceptance (feeling of belonging & a place in society). When there is a serious emotional problem, the three-legged table of love, acceptance, and security is malformed, imbalanced, or broken.
Unrestrained desire for LOVE (sex) SECURITY (overspending, overeating, over-dependence on others), & ACCEPTANCE (outwardly focused, people pleasing, approval seeking) can result in misguided behavior which can result in Guilt, Blame, or Grandiosity (superiority/inferiority).
Unrestrained desire (for love, security and acceptance) causes unhappiness in the form of Resentments, Self-pity, and unwarranted Pride.
Fears of not having, doing, or being enough are the “termites” that ceaselessly devour whatever life we are trying to build.“
When the legs of the table are broken, we go on the hunt. We take hostages. When our instincts are threatened, we go into impulsive action, hurting ourselves and often others. “You WILL love me. You will NOT leave me.”
Fear leads to co-dependency.
Co-dependency is emotional bondage and causes us to act in ways that are self-defeating.
Acronyms for FEAR are:
Fuck Everything and Run.
Face Everything And Recover.
Feel Everything and Relax.
Forgetting Everything’s All Right.
FEAR puts us in a position to do the unacceptable (sometimes the unimaginable) which may hurt others, and definitely hurts us).
FEAR puts us in a position to hurt people.
Hurt people HURT people.
Demands made on other people for too much attention, protection, and love can only invite domination or revulsion in the protectors themselves.
“We need to change OURSELVES to meet the conditions of our lives, whatever they are.“
We are powerless over people, situations, & conditions, but we CAN, with help, CHANGE our attitudes and actions. With God and each other, we can change ourselves.
When we start to get perspective on ourselves, we gain humility. Pride and Fear can keep us from truly seeing our shortcomings and stay in the trap of hurtfulness, dirtiness, covetousness, greed, lying - the 7 deadly sins, envy & manipulation for self-serving motivations. “We grab for more of everything than we need of some things, not enough of others, fearing we will never have enoug.” We have enough, We do enough, We are enough.
FEAR leads to compromise, leads to self-abandonment. We can ask ourselves: Am I giving love? or am I acting out of fear? Constanly examine your motives. Name your feelings.
The way to get through fear is action and to ask for help in taking that action.
We Humbly ask Universe, God, Guides, Ganesha to help us change our actions despite our fear.
FEAR is disguised as:
self-pity
gossiping
procrastination
overspending
tardiness
indecision
poor diet
agressiveness
bragging
greed
smoking
undersachievement
lying
escape reading
binge watching
know-it-all-ness
Anything we are not doing out of love & harmony with the flow of life we are doing out of fear.
EMOTIONAL INSECURITY results in worry, anger, self-pity, depression, fears for material wealth, emotional extremes around love and sex relationships, perceived rejection, feeling unaccepted, or not accepting reality.
Emotional insecurity keeps us down.
If you are angry or afraid, relax. Consider carefully all the personal relationships which bring you continuous or recurring trouble. These are based on insecurities that may arise in any area where instincts are threatened.
Now, consider carefully all the personal relationships which have brought you, and do bring you, continuous or recurring joy. Feel secure in the joy.
PURE LOVE has neither conditions nor a personality. PURE LOVE is flowing all the time, every day, all day, and all through the night.
Abandon activities and attitudes that block spiritual sobriety. Have total reliance on GOD - Good Orderly Direction.
There is no soulution outside of OURSELVES.
The solution is always INSIDE our personal relationship with our Higher Power, Divine Consciousness, Creative Intelligence.
EMOTIONAL SOBRIETY asks that we go looking for expectations, old ideas, stories, & decisions based on a quest for love, security, and acceptance for ourselves, which have put us in a position to be HURT.
HOW? We are honest, open-minded, and willing to trust. We are ready to rely completely upon spiritual truths. This is the answer to emotional drunkenness that leads us to think and act harmfully.
My well-being is not dependent on ANYONE, EVER. My well-being depends on how well I am staying in relationship with, and acting in line with, God’s will for me.
** Truth will set us free. Don’t edit yourself when speaking your mind, your truth, your feelings. **
Take your time.
TIME.
Things I Must Earn.
Affirm and validate yourself. Affirm ALL of you, the truth of you, so you can see your assets, your strength, your delicacy.
Become the person you want to meet.
We use things, activities, and people to fill the emptiness created by the unmet core needs of our childhood (the broken legs of the table that is held up by love, acceptance, and material/emotional security).
We distract ourselves with things, activities, and people in order to escape from looking at the truth of who we are.
The truth of who we are is that we are miracles of LOVE, miracles of Divine, Intelligent CREATION. We are mini-universes and each one cell in the magnificent universe.
God doesn’t make junk.
Imperfection, yes, but not junk.
Go only to THE SOURCE - of creation, of creativity - Universal Intelligence, “GOD”, to fill the lie of the hole and “the hole” will be filled.
The SOLUTION in everything and all brokenness, is prayer and meditation. The solution is to connect with Universal Intelligence, your personal Higher Power (for Christians, your relationship with Jesus Christ), and carry out activities that support your Higher Power’s will.
What is the Problem?
The PROBLEM is how we REACT to people, places, and situations - our thoughts, our emotions, our behavior - based on our unmet needs to feel loved, accepted, and secure.
How do we get these needs met?
We talk to Our Higher Power, Jesus, our Beloved Friend, God, our Loving Parent (Universal Intelligence).
Tell this Higher Self all of your concerns, feelings, questions, then BE QUIET and LISTEN. Take notes on what you hear if you need to. Talk, then LISTEN. Review your notes to sort out what is coming from your higher self versus your lower ego self. Yackity yak, don’t talk back.
Your POWER lies in the courage that your HIGHER POWER gives you to change yourself.
Change takes time. Feather, Feather, Feather... Lay down the hammer.
How do we change?
Patiently. We have faith that all we need is already there and pray that whatever stands in the way be removed. Jai, Ganesha 🌟
We reach out to others Who feel safe and loving.
We come to be honest with ourselves about who we are, how we feel, what we will and will not do, what we will and will not tolerate, etc.
We become Humble - humble enough to accept that we are human and, as humans, are always in conflict with our spiritual condition unless we take time daily, hourly, moment to moment to ask for Divine guidance, then act in line with the guidance we receive that pertains to and is aligned with our individual purpose, soul, karmic experience, and genetic tendencies.
With Humor, we choose to embrace the playful, ever-evolving nature of creation (and ourselves), Lila of living. We become more aligned with the lighthearted, carefree nature of the soul.
We rely less on our thinking.
With openness, we listen for our Higher Power’s guidance given through an impulse, an expansive feeling, an “aha!” or quiet.
We become willing to listen, to pause, to sit, ask, ponder, relax, and listen some more. We become willing to take care of ourselves by getting outdoors, getting outside of ourselves through activity that supports spiritual fitness.
We get out of the Way.
Be silent. Sit still. Talk. Listen. When help appears, accept it. The Soul is WHOLE when filled by God.
Affirm your trust in a loving presence within you.
Keep it simple.
Give yourself hugs and kisses. Cheer yourself on. Like a loving father, mother, or friend, encourage yourself when you’re afraid. Set down the hammer. When you make a mistake, pick up the feather. Featha, featha, featha. Be gentle and kind to yourself. Go get an ice cream, hug a teddy bear, pet a bunny... Say soothing sounds like “i love you” or the mantra srim SRIM (shreem, shreem, shreem..)
Get to know your Higher self. You don’t have to Justify, Argue, Defend, or Explain (JADE) yourself to other people.
Choose Now to make meditation and prayer your top priority, instead of other people. Daily, and at any time you feel flustered, out of whack, or unsure, make contact with Creative Intelligence. Make you top priority listening to divine guidance.
Charity begins at Home, which is Within.
Accept that a Power greater than yourself is in control. Intuition rules.
Acceptance of the Divine plan (how you are guided when you ask for guidance and receive it) doesn’t mean you have to like it.
Unacceptable behavior is to be avoided. YOUR unacceptable behavior. Keep the focus on yourself - your thoughts, words and behaviors - and keep yourself aligned with the love of the Lord (Yoga Sutra 2.33-34)
God wants us to LIVE - in cleanliness, beauty, purity, and LOVE.
BE the LOVE you were created from.
Stay in Your Hoola-Hoop
1. Mind your own business. If it’s not your business, don’t make it your business.
2. HALT. Practice Radical Self-Care. If you are hungry, eat. If you are angry, move, yell, laugh, cry, get it out. If you are lonely, call a friend, go somewhere, pray. If you are tired, rest.
3. Do Your BEST in everything. Be present. Pay attention. Do the best you can.
4. Seek Divine connection, Universal Intelligence. Build this relationship. Trust your Higher Power.
When regret and overthinking start to get in the way, accept what has happened and the way things are today. Be grateful for the lesson, the understanding, the knowledge.
“You spot it, you got it.” And it’s not all bad! It’s the good stuff too! What you see as attractive or repulsive in another is within you too.
You can cultivate or minimize those attractive or repulsive qualities within yourself by getting help and support from a course, special groups, therapy, or professional services.
Let go of people, places, things, and thoughts that jeopardize your spiritual, mental and emotional health. “They” will get you drunk before you will get them sober.
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Jai!
